The Ugly Truth About Helpful People

Yesterday we got up a little late since we're still adjusting to being home. We didn't end up going to 9:30 mass as we usually do. Next available time 11:30 aka smack dab in the middle of nap time. It isn't pretty but that's the way it goes sometimes.

We got their about ten minutes early which immediately shaves ten minutes off the tree-hugger's good behavior clock, but again that's the way it goes sometimes. So we sit and she makes it clear it is going to be a difficult outing. She plays with the toys we brought for a few minutes and then proceeds to start throwing them.

We pack the toys back up in the diaper bag and take her to the back of the church. The entry way has glass doors that the ushers will close if your kid is too loud. There are speakers back there so you don't miss the service.

So after a few minutes the tree-hugger decides to throw a major temper tantrum. It's pretty rare for her, but she's tired so it isn't shocking. We generally ignore the tantrum and go about our business and she knocks it off pretty quickly. Of course, normally we aren't confined to our seats so it's easier to convey that we aren't going to give in.

Yesterday she really decided to get into it though. She started rolling around and wailing, but the ushers still didn't close the doors so the whole church got an earful. We actually laughed a few times (she usually starts to giggle herself and decides to take a different tack) but since we were trying to be quiet she didn't hear.

Then just as she is starting to behave as though she might calm down some random woman comes back and gives her a bag of toys. The church puts together little bags of books and toys for little kids, but we usually bring our own more age appropriate things. Anyhow, she just comes over sits down and tries to start playing with my kid.

The tree-hugger immediately runs to me and tries to hide, but the woman follows and continues to try and buy my child's silence. I said nothing I couldn't even look in her direction I was so pissed. Then after realizing my kid is terrified of her she reaches over and pats her leg saying "It will be okay baby. You'll be alright." Thankfully she went back to her seat before I was forced to karate chop her.

It will be alright? Well duh. She wasn't hurt, hungry, or in any danger and she knew it. Of course, she'll be alright. She's not a three month old that we left crying and scared on the floor she's a toddler that wasn't getting her way.

So now I no longer have the option of ignoring the tantrum. I can take away the toys and further confuse my child or I can hit/yell/shake my child to get her to stop none of which are valid or remotely helpful. I decided to let her play with the toys which lasted all of three minutes before she was throwing things again.

Of course, I can't blame her if I started with two toys then threw them around and received a big bag full of toys as my reward I'd probably be hoping for a bigger payoff as well. I sat there and stewed for a few minutes then got up and left. I knew if I stayed I would have to confront the woman and it wouldn't be in a very Christian manner.

I'm sure she was thinking of the ease and comfort of the other adults, but the ushers can close the door at any time. Maybe she thought I was feeling ashamed, but I sure as hell wasn't. My daughter is 15 months and there's nothing embarrassing about her behavior. In two or three years I might start feeling bad if she's acting that way, but that's why I don't try to bribe her.

I swear! I don't just randomly stand there as my kid grows up. I make decisions and every bit of parenting is deliberate. I may not be perfect and I'm sure I'll make lots of mistakes, but choosing to not bribe my child is not one of them. The fact that someone (who most likely doesn't have children) decided to take it upon themselves to decide what's best for my child is beyond ridiculous. I will have to speak to her (hopefully in a calm and respectful manner) next time I see her. My poor husband told me in the car that he would have said something to her but he was in shock that someone would do something like that.


Okay on a happier topic my husband painted the kitchen while I was gone. At least most of it anyhow. Today we are going to try and tackle the smaller stuff. It should be fun.

Back in Black (Until I Change)

We're back. So here's my trip.

6 hours driving up
-1 husband that couldn't come
1 mom/grandma
15 month old angel
1 wake Thursday
1 funeral Friday
1 trip to the ER (without insurance card) Friday afternoon
20 minutes to find the baby's heartbeat
1,000,000 gallons of fluids
1 prescription
5 hours driving down in the middle of the night

Can I just say I love Chambana and I'm never leaving again.

Little Miss Sunshine

It is so nice having a baby to cheer you up when you're feeling blue. I'm increadibly thankful for that child.

I met with a doula today and was very impressed. I'm looking forward to this birth in a way I could never have understood with my first pregnancy. Then it felt as though birth was a nessisary evil until I actually went into labor. It felt natural and exciting we laughed and joked our way through it.

In the end my daughter was breech and I had a c-section, but I would never take back those seemingly endless hours of labor. I'm ready for round two!

And now on a sour note I'm doing the emotional eating thing and it's not good. Send me some good thoughts and a free membership to weight watchers because I'm gonna need it!

Funeral Clothing for Kids?

Okay so my grandfather died last night. My father died when I was young and well it's kind of a two for one losing my grandfather. I'm feeling a bit zombie like and waiting for the tree-hugger to wake up from her nap so we can go shopping for funeral clothing. I don't know what's appropriate for a fifteen month old baby to wear...

I don't want to dress her in something I like. I'd just wind up throwing it out. The same goes for myself and I don't have an appropriate maternity dress anyhow. I really hate shopping and it's always so much worse in these circumstances.

I can't even cry anymore because my inhaler is running out from the asthma attacks that invariably come with the sobbing.

Friday Haiku

If it's good enough for Mrs. Chicken....



Watching the scale
my belly blossoms.
But my rear is doing the same


Oh my poetical skills... So it's isn't textbook but it's oh so very topical.

No Worries

I'm alive and the baby is fine. As it turns out lots of time doing nothing equals nothing to post about. Although yesterday I saw a teenage girl assaulted by four other girls yesterday afternoon (more about that later).

Anyhow, sitting around watching the handful of TV channels we have (migraines have prevented reading of late) is about as inspiring as watching paint dry. Plus with a village of people attending to my needs and that of my child I haven't even had any good toddler stories to tell.

Now the tree-hugger and I are sick with matching colds and we're both a bit cranky. This was not lessened when yesterday we saw an argument escalate into a full blown brawl while driving home from the library. We were stopped at a red light at the intersection of Mattis and John and across the street there were two girls arguing. I looked over to my husband and when I looked back it had erupted into a brawl.

I knew I couldn't jump out of the car and run across the street into oncoming traffic. We just sat there helpless as cars slowed down to watch but drove on by. Finally the light turned green and we pulled into the parking lot next to them as another driver pulled into the grass a few feet from them. They immediately started to scatter as I jumped out of our car and the other driver pulled around into the parking lot.

Long story short the girls were determined to go home but declined to accept a ride. I don't blame them after getting attacked on the street I'd be a bit nervous about accepting a ride from a stranger.

I was angry then and I'm even more so now. To think that your child can be assaulted walking home from school...

Not only that my daughter saw the whole thing. Given the angle between her seat and the fight she got a clear view of the violence. Can I just say this? NOT IN FRONT OF MY KID!

Lost and Found

Haven't been around as I was losing my mind for a few days. Cramping and other not so good stuff going on. Was told to rest, relax, and have someone else care for the kiddo. With Batman in the middle of finals and my mother sick with the flu you can guess how well that turned out. Then just as I was feeling better the tree-hugger and I found a play set that was thrown out by some folks about a block away...

My husband wasn't due home for hours. My mom was sick. All other family members were at work or in school. In a neighborhood filled with young children I knew it would go fast. Faced with the dilemma of waiting for help or risking a future retail price tag I had to make a decision.

Off we went and piece by piece the tree-hugger and I carried the play set home. Of course, more often than not I had to carry the toddler in one arm and the playground equipment in the other. Finally, on the fourth trip the mailman came driving by and offered to help. At first I resisted (I know he had to be breaking the rules and didn't want to get him in trouble), but I said yes.

He delivered the final three pieces along with our mail and I almost kissed the man. That certainly would have lessened the victory in the eyes of my husband. Also, the mailman and his wife might have been slightly annoyed with the whole sexual harassment thing, but I digress.

Anyhow, after some scrubbing the thing looks pretty good though it seems to be missing some parts. It works just fine for the tree-hugger and she is thrilled to have a door to play with. I should be able to post plenty in the next few days as my husband has become a very bossy man. All I'm allowed to do is sleep, sit, and drink water.